when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died
Self-taught chef Rhiannon over at Cakecrumbs has been working on a fun series of planetary cakes that are designed to be scientifically accurate with different types of cake representing various layers within Earth and Jupiter.
Her cake game is strong.
whoever invented cramps is an asshole
ur an 18 year old boy
NOT JUST FEMALES GET CRAMPS WTF I GOT CRAMP IN MY FOOT FROM ALL THE SEX I’VE NOT BEEN HAVING OKAY CRAMPS DONT JUST HAPPEN IN THE LADY POCKET REGION OR WHATEVER
the lady pocket region
corsetiere: Francesca corsets
lets have phone sex over walkie talkies
"I’ll make you moan, over"
"bend what? over"
u wake up on christmas morning and go downstairs, full of excitement. somebody is stealing all of your christmas presents. it is jesus. “its my birthday, not yours” he hisses menacingly, then runs away with all your gifts in his arms
so basically um im horny
do you know what these all say?
"hi horny im dad"
pumpkin spice candles soon
pumpkin lattes soon
this is just a short video of me trying to escape the auto face detection and zoom of my webcam which is IMPOSSIBLE FUCK U BILL GATES
oh no it’s back
when they say youre too old for disney
The hop, I can’t. I cackled.
when life gets hard just remember dicks get hard too but they don’t stay hard forever and pretty soon things cool down and go back to normal just stick it out when it’s done you’ll feel a lot better
I actually need to remember this